She dreams wild dreams

I once knew a man when I was a young girl. His name was Billy. I only have vague memories of this man. Only glimpses of this person who walked into my life for a brief moment in time. And one day, he disappeared from my life. I barely noticed. I was too young and not close enough to him to notice.

Then one day, I got a call from my sister-in-law who claimed she had just met my future husband. Billy had come back into town for a day and managed to track down my brother and sister-in-law. Unfortunately, or maybe fortunately, I didn't get to see him. For some reason, I was out of town. But, my sister-in-law was sold on him from the beginning. When she first talked to me about him over the phone, I didn't think anything of her claims that he should be my husband. I laughed and said I was sorry I missed him. I was sorry to not see him, it would have been good to catch up. But, somehow, my sister-in-law's words got stuck in my head. Now, with something like five years having passed since that day, I find that I still think about Billy.

I don't know when he became someone that I daydream about. Sometime, over the years, something in my head has elevated him to my dream man level. Even when I fell in love for the first time, Billy would still creep up on me. I remember having to stifle the thoughts that would spring up in my mind of him. I always considered it ridiculous to daydream about a man I hardly know and haven't seen for years. In my mind I've put all my hopes of what the man I marry will be like. It's so strange and even ridiculous really. But I still can't seem to help the thoughts that come to my mind. He's become my hope for the future. After being so wounded and hurt, I've made him into something that washes all that away.

In reality, nothing will ever happen between Billy and me. He's got a girl back home in Tennessee, and I'm in Texas going to school. The chances of us ever meeting again are slim. A part of me wants to see him just so I can see him for who is really is and not for the man that I've created in my mind. A part of me wants to see him so I can fall madly in love with him. But, really, we'll both live out seperate lives and he'll be the man that I compare every other man to until that day when I somehow meet a man who matches up. Everyone has their standards. I've just attributed those standards to a actual man.